Not ordinary
by boho
Summary: Different stories of Bleach characters living in Karakura Town. AU.


Ichigo lived in a ordinary world his ordinary life.

X X X  
Like all ordinary people he also lived in an ordinary house surrounded by ordinary neighbors. He had an ordinary friends and an ordinary programming job. Like all ordinary people he had a wife who, like all ordinary people lived an ordinary life as well.  
Like all ordinary people he had... No, actually he hadn't... He dreamed of having a baby or two.  
Everything seemed to be in order, except one fact: he couldn't have babies, not even one.  
"Why" he used to ask himself.., because his wife was a fucking artist!  
Each his ordinary day was very ordinary: at 7 a.m. hear the alarm clock, turn off the alarm clock (except all the weekends, but you will hear about it in next chapter) he would wake up in his pajamas, use the toilet, go to the bathroom, take off his pajamas, take a shower, get out of the shower, brush his teeth, go to the dress room, put clothes on, go to the kitchen, eat sandwiches, drink coffee, say "Hi" to his wife, give her a kiss, go outside the house to the yard, while opening the garage say hello to his neighbors and say "nice weather we are having" then listen to his neighbors replies, nod, wishing a good day say goodbye, go inside the garage, open the car, get inside, start the car and go to work. When he would reach his work, he would step outside the car, lock the door, go inside the building exactly at 8 a.m., say "Hi" to receptionist, while going towards the lift, listen to her babble about her kids, nod, automatically push the button, wait for lift to arrive still listening to receptionist babble, nod third time, step inside the lift, push the button number 4, wait for lift to reach the fourth floor, when doors are open, leave the lift, cross the long corridor, turn to the left, reach his work place, turn on computer, sit on the spinning chair, wait computer to load win 200098, look through his folders, open the last file he was working on, then yawn... and continuing his previous work.  
At 12 p.m. have his 30 minutes lunch break, eat in canteen, buy a bottle of juice and pack of chips, use bladder, go for a cup of coffee to the kitchen, visit smokers room, smoke one cigarette, use bladder again, then get back to work.  
Strictly at 5 p.m. leave his work place, use the lift, say goodnight to receptionist, while going towards the exit listen to her babble about her husband and how he doesn't love her, nod and leave be building as soon as possible. Reach his car, unlock the door, sit inside, start his car, drive to the shop, open the door, blah blah, buy juice and chips again, buy a pack of preservatives, leave the shop, sit in the car, blah blah, go home, blah.  
He then would reach his yard, then he would step out of the car (after opening the door of course, he can't just cross the window like ghost), open the garage, get back inside the car, park car in the garage, close the garage, while going home say goodnight to his neighbor, listen to goodnight back, reach the door, go inside, give a shout "Honey, I am home" put his car keys on a cupboard, wait for his wife to run down the stairs 'boom boom' "...", oooouch", kiss his wife, together have dinner in the kitchen, while dinning listen the story of how his wifes day was, tell his ordinary story, after the dinner together go to watch tv, watch all news from all channels, watch the movie or two, 9.30 p.m. go to the bath room, blah blah, take a toilet, brush shower, use his teeth, while going to the bedroom think how ordinary his life is, go inside his bedroom, listen to his wife asking to open the window, take action and actually open it, look outside, then look back inside, see his wife in her nightdress, with blank face expression look through the window again, hear his wife flirting "Coming to bed, hoooney?" with the same blank expression sigh and say "Yes, dear", go to bed, turn off the light, have sex with his wife or don't have, sleep.  
The other day would be the same.

As you can see, this person is living an ordinary life, in an ordinary house, surrounded by ordinary neighbors, blah blah.  
Except his ordinary life with ordinary routine, everything else seem to be pretty fine.

X X X

FRIDAY, 6.05 p.m.

"Honey, I am hooooome".  
'Boom boom boom' silence 'boom boom' "Oooouch"  
Honey had landed successfully.  
"I prepared squashed tomatoes soup, your favorite" his wife smiled.  
"Thanks, Rukia" he smirked.  
They went to the kitchen.  
"So how your day was?" she asked.  
"Fine." said Ichigo while checking letters laying on the kitchen table.  
"I see." she smiled and added "I am going to watch todays news, care to join me later?"  
"Of course" he nodded.

Some time later, after his wife asking "care to join me later?"

Nothing happened. An ordinary evening: tv, news, movies, toilet, bath, bedroom, window, bed, sex. His wife fell asleep soon after sex.  
Ichigo was settling their alarm clock, with blank face expression on his face when suddenly it hit him:  
"Wait a minute... I don't have to go to work tomorrow... Or do I..?" confusion in his face "Oh well. I will set it on 5 a.m. maybe something interesting will happen" he said to himself.

"That's not very ordinary" he heard his wife "and, Ichigo, turn off that fucking lamp, I can't sleep"  
"How did- How did you... I thought you were sleeping" he stuttered with surprise "It's not very ordinary too, you know?"  
"I was pretending to be sleeping, you moron! You've been acting very strange lately!" his wife stated.  
"What?!" literally he was taken aback "Hey! That's not ordinary!"  
She instantly sat on the bed and spat "Not ordinary?! Not ordinary! Do you know when you came back home today?"  
"Well I-" he stuttered again.  
"6.o5 p.m.! You were five minutes late. Fucking five minutes, Ichigo!"  
"I, uh" he scratched his head.  
"Uh uh. You think I will not notice, did you? You think I am a fool? I was pretending that everything is in order, just calming myself, lying to myself that it's just a dream, or that you will apologize!" she said while raising from the bed "But you know what? You didn't that, asshole!"  
"..." Ichigo froze. For the first time in his life he was having a fight with his wife "Rukia, I-"  
"What?" she stood on the floor and walked towards the door.  
"Nothing" he mumbled.  
"You are one big nothing, Ichigo!" she stated "And you know what? I am going to sleep on the couch" she added pulling the door knob "Good night, asshole!"

'BAAAAAAAM'  
She slammed the door.

Two seconds later...

She opened the door again:  
"Be careful, because I am watching you, Ichigo!" she added.

'BAAAAAM' she slammed the door again.

'Boom boom boom' "ouch" he heard her footsteps, "ouch" she obviously hit into something again.  
"Fuck, I can't believe it..." he murmured to himself. He studied their bedroom, the lamp was still turned on, he looked at alarm clock and for a few seconds he thought he was seeing that it had face and was laughing"

* * *

Sorry for all grammatical errors, logical errors, just errors, bleach is not mine blah blah.  
Rating might change later, and genre of course. Crack. I am writing it automatically, didn't even think while I was writing, we'll see where it will lead. Couples might change ten thousand times, because I will write it intuitively, as I did just now. So yeah...


End file.
